Saturday, April 3, 2010

Because every picture equals (almost) 1,000 words

Today, a post with no pictures.

I started this blog over two years ago, with the intent to post a picture with a caption or story each day, for one year. I planned it that way because at the time I wanted a way to share my life with my friends and family, but was afraid I wouldn’t be able to supply a steady stream of words that were entertaining and informative.

Needless to say, posting a picture each day for a year didn’t happen, but this blog did become an important place for me to document my life and the things around me. This is my 362nd post. I’ve decided that my 365th will be my last, as it would have been if I had stuck to my original plan.

So here’s the game plan: Today will be a post without pictures, a “real” blog post about my life and what’s happening in it, because for once I have the words to share with you how I feel. The last three will be posts of pictures, my favorites of what I have already posted, and a few meaningful ones (old and new) that have always been too personal to share with the world wide web.

In many ways, it’s the end of an era for me. This blog was created during a time of transition in my life, when I wasn’t sure where my life was going, just that it was going somewhere. Sometimes I was afraid to share the emotions I felt at the confusion of it all, and posting photos of random objects and street scenes was often an easier way to share my life with all of you (and often made for amusing reading).

Where I was:

No doubt about it. I was confused. Confused about what I valued, confused about what kind of job I wanted, even what I really liked to do on the weekends. I was graduating college, running on luck and laughing about it, and was making decisions based on what opportunities fell into my lap with ease, and what was easy.

There may be another blog in my future, but I want Crowds and Clouds to remain a testament to what my life was when I was like that.

Where I’m at:

I’m definitely a work in progress, but I like to think I become myself a little more each day. I discover things I never knew I would enjoy, and try to share good experiences with my friends and family.

One of those things has been classical music. In an effort to expand my horizons, I got season tickets to the local symphony orchestra this season. Last night I shared the experience of going to the symphony with my dad for the first time. Now let me tell you, I’ve been increasingly enjoying going to see classical music performed, but this time was by far the best yet.

My dad actually enjoyed himself (at one point, turning to me and saying with the excitement of a little kid, “this sounds like the Empire Strikes Back!” and at another, calling under his breath for Free Bird), I thoroughly enjoyed the music (Berlioz, Chopin, and Elgar), and I finally found out how many rounds of applause it takes for a symphony audience to get an encore (it’s four, plus a standing O).

These are the experiences that I really treasure, the little ones spent with people I care about. I think figuring out how much I valued them, changed how I viewed my life. I stopped viewing life as a checklist of things I felt I had to experience, and starting focusing more on who I experienced life with.

Where I’m going:

I’ve decided on a career, and I guess you could say, a life path: I’m going to be a professor. I grew to realize that I’m passionate about technology, and how it affects people’s interactions with their friends and families. I was accepted to two masters programs, one at the University of Chicago and one at Georgetown. I was also (as posted on the blog) accepted to a Ph.D. program at the University of California-Irvine.

I’m going to be really honest here. Most of my extended family lives in Chicago, and I love them to death. Even after it was clear that Irvine would be the best place for me financially and professionally, I waffled between Irvine and Chicago because in my mind, nothing can replace Pierski get-togethers.

The thought of moving away, and the challenges posed by a Ph.D. program, terrified me (still do) and I was paralyzed by trying to make a decision. For awhile, I actually thought I was getting an ulcer from the stress it was causing me. Let me tell you, feeling sick every time I ate—and I like to eat a lot—was not enjoyable.

Also, because of my desire to focus my experiences more on who I shared them with, I had a hard time imagining moving so far away from my family yet again. When I moved away for college, I missed so much of theirs lives that I now deeply feel the loss of all those memories I could share with them in the future if I stayed close to home.

But I have faith in my family, and better yet, I have faith in myself. I treasure the time I have with them, and know that I’ll make the time to be with them no matter where I end up.



Now, much more than two years ago, I have a better sense of where my life is heading, and the kind of person I want to become. Crowds and Clouds helped me track the little transitions in my interests (more and more posts were about my family or about good food I’d eaten) as well as the big transitions in my life, and helped me remember to celebrate the victories along the way.

Thanks for reading.

1 comment:

-Kevin said...

Nicki

It's a bit sad to see your blog go the way of the dodo. I personally haven't left this tri state area in probably a decade or more so I've been sorta living vicariously through you by the little vignettes you've posted.
But that being said I'm really glad you've found a direction in your life. Even if you feel like your path is not clear sometimes it's still great that you have an idea of where you want to go. I've still been groping around for some sort of path to walk and I still haven't found one.
I understand more than you know that it's far more important to spend time with people you care about doing mundane things rather than people you may or may not care about doing "exciting" things. It took me quite a while to even figure out the people I actually cared about and the people I thought I cared about.
I truly do wish you the best of luck in whatever school you choose and thereafter. We haven't actually hung out too much but if there is anything you ever need don't hesitate to ask and I shall try to help. Anyway I really am happy for you. Good Luck!

-Kevin